2020 – The Year I Ended an Abusive Relationship with Myself
It’s been a year. It’s been a heavy year weighed down by the pull of each day that has been a part of it. The obvious heaviness came from the COVID-19 pandemic. But there were also so many other hurdles…
December 1, 2020
We are all born with two vessels of love in our hearts. One is an empty one waiting to be filled, while the other one is full, ready to give. Wise are those who first fill their empty one with…
October 20, 2020
Dear long dark nights, welcome. Dear cold temperatures, welcome. Dear pandemic surge, welcome. Dear virus, cold, and flu season, welcome. Dear dim sunlight, welcome. Dear virtual education, welcome. Dear anxious nerves, welcome. Dear worries and fears, welcome. Dear stress and…
October 11, 2020
Rock bottom is a place we don’t like. In fact, it’s loathed when we descend into it, and despised upon arrival. I know because I’ve been to my rock bottom before. I hit it not very long ago. I didn’t…
October 1, 2020
Do not look down at those who’ve changed around you,They too stood strong & purposeful,With might & life their stance was,Now here you are unchanged by the wind & cold that slowly seeps through your blossomed leaves.But look, how the…
September 24, 2020
For the first time, I am investing my time and energy on self care. And I’m starting with my feet. I’ll explain. Ever since I can remember, I have had very dry feet. Cracked heels, dry tough soles, covered in…
September 9, 2020
What if? What if I dared? What if I dared to dream a dream so big that it began to frighten me? What if the dream I want to pursue pushes my back against the wall and the only way…
September 3, 2020
For years I’ve fastened my children’s seat belt in the car, and not remembered to wear my own. Protecting those I loved but not caring much about my own. But it was when they got older, and no longer needed…
August 24, 2020
Summer’s telling me something… get ready to let go. It’s not really a choice; not the choice of mine nor the choice of these leaves that have already begun to show hues of what’s to come. The end of August…
August 20, 2020
Dear Me, Not old me, not new me. Not child me, nor adult me. Not me I want to be, or the real me. No, not even “just” me. Me. Dear Me, You are an embodiment of all of you.…
July 8, 2020
Another decades-long marriage hits the rocks. Loved each other through hard times but something went wrong. Just grew apart, they said. Secrets start escaping from their marital closet and soon whispers are abuzz with “But they looked so happy…”, “did…
June 26, 2020
Stranded Ever been stranded on the side of the road?Scared, lonely, and shivering cold? Waiting for passing lights to slow down,Eerie silence and cricket sounds. The night envelopes in it’s choking embrace,Stuck in a moment and bound to this place.…
June 22, 2020
Her feet were planted firmly into the quickening sand of her fragile mind,as the tepid waters of her life came in waves crashing on her, one by one. She never moved from her stance and nor did the water break…
June 22, 2020
17. 17 years ago I became a Mom. There under the glare of fluorescent lights, wearing a mask to be safe from SARS, my doctor announced “Congratulations, it’s a girl!”. And I become a mother. No manual, no instructions, no…
June 17, 2020
I wasn’t supposed to be loved. I was meant to be a throwaway. No one ever heals from their past. They just turn into self-loathing damaged goods. They fear eye contact. They fear abandonment. They fear still nights and silence.…
June 8, 2020
In this birthing of the new me, I have been quick to reference back to the person “I used to be”. The person that used to be confident. That used to be outspoken. That used to love writing prose and…
May 29, 2020
There I am. In those family pictures. The ones I’ve bowed out of for so long. Too long. But there I am now. On the big screen, as my family decides to Airplay our pictures from the great moments and…
May 28, 2020
My dear child, Inherit this land,Though it may try to confine you. Learn to fly with trusted faith,Though the land may shackle and bound you. You are from it, like from my womb you were,Though it may try to orphan…
May 16, 2020
God, I am listening. Our worlds have flipped over like a heaping basket of laundry that could take no more piling on. And we have become undone. Rocking ourselves by the window with one eye on the clock and one…
May 14, 2020
I am not a white woman.I have no idea what’s like to be one. But I grew up with white people all around me. My teachers were white. The principal was white. And my classmates were mostly white.The actors in the shows…
May 10, 2020
“Too much salt”, I can hear her say,rolling my eyes, I walk away.”That will burn”, I can hear her sing,it looks fine, I loudly think. “When it’s clean it should shine,put a little elbow into it this time.”“Yes Mom!” I…
May 9, 2020
There’s a visitor knocking on my front door, asking if it can come inside. It is Ramadan. Ramadan has come to stay with us for a month. This visit was scheduled a year ago but somehow I forgot to prepare for…
May 7, 2020
I am black.I am living.I am jogging.I am breathing.I am threatened.I am frightened. I am fighting.I am surviving.I am standing.I am shot.I am bleeding.I am weakening.I am falling.I am down.I am gasping.I am hurting.I am gone.I am still.I was.We are Ahmaud.We…
April 30, 2020
“Mom? When’s April 13?” asks my kindergartener. I know why she’s asking but still I clarify,“Why are you asking sweetie?”. “‘Cause I miss my friends and my teacher,” she answers with eyes too innocent to understand. “That’s when we’re supposed…
September 4, 2019
She’s getting old now, my mom. She bends slightly when she walks. The hand that used to grasp mine as we carved our path through thick crowds, now grips my forearm unsurely. These days, she’d rather follow than lead. The…
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Tumkeen, Writer+Poet 