October 11, 2020

Rock bottom is a place we don’t like.

In fact, it’s loathed when we descend into it, and despised upon arrival.

I know because I’ve been to my rock bottom before.

I hit it not very long ago.

I didn’t like being there.

I cursed it and tried to find an exit out of it.

But there was no escape… it didn’t have secret doors or tunnels leading out.

At first, I could not understand the purpose of being thrown into the depths.

Afraid, desperate, and alone.

But when I stopped kicking and screaming, I found silence.

And in the silence, I had a brave understanding.

Perhaps I didn’t fall there through failure, perhaps I was put there.

Put there by God so that I can awaken to my existence and call out to Him in tears of desperation from a place where only He can hear.

To be awakened to Him who has never, not once, left my side.

There in the solitude of rock bottom, I did not see Him but I felt Him.

I did not hear Him but I understood Him.

Eventually, I was able to leave rock bottom behind.

Realizing that the only way out was to go up.

But there was a wisdom that was gained in the process.

Rock bottom is a gift enveloped in hardship.

Rock bottom is a place of awakening.

Rock bottom is the answer to a prayer.

I now have a new respect for that place, as we all should…

because it is from where we rise.

-Tumkeen, Writer+Poet

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